finding my feet 100 miles away
Disorganisation right now is my worst enemy. As you all know, I recently decided to flee the nest to complete my University studies elsewhere, and whilst I know I've settled in at face value, I still feel quite absent-minded. All of the things I once did when I was back at home a few weeks ago have suddenly just disappeared out of my mind, and despite my newly found interest in Yoga and eating nothing but pasta, all of the things I once had organised to a tee, have just upped and left me.
For example, this blog. Yes, we can all admit that this probably isn't the most organised piece of work, with blogs coming in the most bizarre of time schedules and a monthly mental breakdown where I'd express for the 15th time, that I'm only blogging when I want to, but even then, I knew what to blog about. I had ideas, and theories and passions I wanted to write about, research and understand more. But as soon as I moved away, I just haven't had the same motivation. Whether that's because I'm not entirely settled yet, even if I'd like to think that I am, or whether it's because I'm not in the writing mindset right now, it's bothering me.
Since I moved away, I've had all these little things I need to keep organised. Shopping lists, food planners, budgeting, the list is endless, and because of this, I think I've just lost all motivation to do the things I love. Blogging, reading, writing in general. Researching the most bizarre topics, expressing my interest in the environment more than the average human, watching hours of YouTube. It's like I've lost the person I once identified with, but much less deep than I'm making it sound.
It's been the busiest few weeks, and with University hitting me quite quickly with work, like most people, I've just lost connection with the things I valued a lot when I had more free time. So I thought today, a Sunday evening, the most relaxed time of the week, I'd play some music and just type. See where it goes, if I like what I make, and try to remember why I love writing so much.
My course is the most me thing I've ever been a part of though, which is amazing. Every lecture I go to I enjoy, no matter if it is the early hours of the morning, and whilst readings can go on for hours upon hours, more often than not I enjoy what I'm reading. Work is keeping me busy, and that's good right now, because I have too much free time for my own good. I'm trying to do new things more, but breaking out of my comfort zone isn't my strong point, so it's coming, just slowly.
I've met lovely people, and I meet more and more every time I leave the house. University is such a little bubble of normalising saying hi to random people in uni coffee shops and not being afraid to compliment people you see, and it's lovely, just very scary. I'm finding my way for sure, and it's great as of now. I love my little room too, I have the longest desk so at night I'm able to sit there with blankets and pillows writing or reading, observing the antics of students right outside my window. So comforting. It's nice and I'm happy, and I'm so grateful to be here.
Thanks for reading,
J. I. Smith x
For example, this blog. Yes, we can all admit that this probably isn't the most organised piece of work, with blogs coming in the most bizarre of time schedules and a monthly mental breakdown where I'd express for the 15th time, that I'm only blogging when I want to, but even then, I knew what to blog about. I had ideas, and theories and passions I wanted to write about, research and understand more. But as soon as I moved away, I just haven't had the same motivation. Whether that's because I'm not entirely settled yet, even if I'd like to think that I am, or whether it's because I'm not in the writing mindset right now, it's bothering me.
Since I moved away, I've had all these little things I need to keep organised. Shopping lists, food planners, budgeting, the list is endless, and because of this, I think I've just lost all motivation to do the things I love. Blogging, reading, writing in general. Researching the most bizarre topics, expressing my interest in the environment more than the average human, watching hours of YouTube. It's like I've lost the person I once identified with, but much less deep than I'm making it sound.
It's been the busiest few weeks, and with University hitting me quite quickly with work, like most people, I've just lost connection with the things I valued a lot when I had more free time. So I thought today, a Sunday evening, the most relaxed time of the week, I'd play some music and just type. See where it goes, if I like what I make, and try to remember why I love writing so much.
My course is the most me thing I've ever been a part of though, which is amazing. Every lecture I go to I enjoy, no matter if it is the early hours of the morning, and whilst readings can go on for hours upon hours, more often than not I enjoy what I'm reading. Work is keeping me busy, and that's good right now, because I have too much free time for my own good. I'm trying to do new things more, but breaking out of my comfort zone isn't my strong point, so it's coming, just slowly.
I've met lovely people, and I meet more and more every time I leave the house. University is such a little bubble of normalising saying hi to random people in uni coffee shops and not being afraid to compliment people you see, and it's lovely, just very scary. I'm finding my way for sure, and it's great as of now. I love my little room too, I have the longest desk so at night I'm able to sit there with blankets and pillows writing or reading, observing the antics of students right outside my window. So comforting. It's nice and I'm happy, and I'm so grateful to be here.
J. I. Smith x
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