i got into university!!
Is it really a significant life event if I don't post a blog about it, honestly? But, as we're here, I got into University after probably the most draining, difficult and boring 2 years of my entire life.
Yesterday was a whirlwind, I'll tell you that much. I woke up at 5:55am, accidentally may I add, 5 minutes before my A Level results were released. I lay there, watching the minutes to go by, I think the slowest they ever have, and when 6am came, I'm not going to lie, I was devastated. I got an A* in Sociology, which is the subject I'm doing at University, so I was over the moon about that, but I achieved less in my other two subjects than expected, so that became the biggest problem, overshadowing the successes of the A* I achieved. So, the first thing I did was go downstairs, with what felt like a brave face, told my mum, and just started crying. To the point where I couldn't stop, because I geniuenly thought I'd messed it all. My future, my university life, my chances of succeeding (I was overemotional, rationality isn't a thing) was essentially fucked in my mind. So, after my hysterical crying, I sat down and organised my clearing options, because I was so sure I was going to have to go through clearing. Whilst all this was happening, I was texting my friends, who all did incredible too, but achieved less than they needed to get in. We were all in this weird mindset before UCAS opened, because we were so sure we weren't going to get into our first choices and we didn't know what on earth we'd being doing in under a months time.
So 7am came, after drinking lots of water and attempting to stay zen and be there for my friends, I was in this bizarre head space where I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't achieve the grades that I needed, so clearing was the only option for me, but it terrified the life out of me. I anxiously waited around until UCAS was open. I ran upstairs, logged in on my laptop, and saw that Nottingham University had given me a place to do the subject I love, in a uni I REALLY love. The emotions I felt was insane, I jumped around, couldn't breathe, literally, started crying and refreshed the page just to make sure, at least 7 times. I was going to my first choice University, and I don't think I felt this kind of pride before. I was overjoyed and it was probably one of the most memorable moments of my life.
A Levels were a very hard time for me, I experienced a lot of things for sure, from good to bad, and like I've said many of times, I couldn't have done more back then with the mindset and circumstances I was in at the time. I'm not going to make excuses, because who genuinely cares, but I'm so proud of myself and the incredible people I have around me, for actually doing it. We got through A Levels. In itself, that's something to be proud of.
I'm terrified for what's going to happen next, but I'm even more excited for the next chapter of my little life, and I can't wait to continue to use this blog, as a diary, where I overshare my life, and you people, bizarrely enjoy it.
(Also, Happy Birthday to the little angel below, my darling Joshi, have the best day honey, 18 FINALLY! Love u x)
Thank you for reading,
J. I. Smith x
Yesterday was a whirlwind, I'll tell you that much. I woke up at 5:55am, accidentally may I add, 5 minutes before my A Level results were released. I lay there, watching the minutes to go by, I think the slowest they ever have, and when 6am came, I'm not going to lie, I was devastated. I got an A* in Sociology, which is the subject I'm doing at University, so I was over the moon about that, but I achieved less in my other two subjects than expected, so that became the biggest problem, overshadowing the successes of the A* I achieved. So, the first thing I did was go downstairs, with what felt like a brave face, told my mum, and just started crying. To the point where I couldn't stop, because I geniuenly thought I'd messed it all. My future, my university life, my chances of succeeding (I was overemotional, rationality isn't a thing) was essentially fucked in my mind. So, after my hysterical crying, I sat down and organised my clearing options, because I was so sure I was going to have to go through clearing. Whilst all this was happening, I was texting my friends, who all did incredible too, but achieved less than they needed to get in. We were all in this weird mindset before UCAS opened, because we were so sure we weren't going to get into our first choices and we didn't know what on earth we'd being doing in under a months time.
So 7am came, after drinking lots of water and attempting to stay zen and be there for my friends, I was in this bizarre head space where I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't achieve the grades that I needed, so clearing was the only option for me, but it terrified the life out of me. I anxiously waited around until UCAS was open. I ran upstairs, logged in on my laptop, and saw that Nottingham University had given me a place to do the subject I love, in a uni I REALLY love. The emotions I felt was insane, I jumped around, couldn't breathe, literally, started crying and refreshed the page just to make sure, at least 7 times. I was going to my first choice University, and I don't think I felt this kind of pride before. I was overjoyed and it was probably one of the most memorable moments of my life.
A Levels were a very hard time for me, I experienced a lot of things for sure, from good to bad, and like I've said many of times, I couldn't have done more back then with the mindset and circumstances I was in at the time. I'm not going to make excuses, because who genuinely cares, but I'm so proud of myself and the incredible people I have around me, for actually doing it. We got through A Levels. In itself, that's something to be proud of.
I'm terrified for what's going to happen next, but I'm even more excited for the next chapter of my little life, and I can't wait to continue to use this blog, as a diary, where I overshare my life, and you people, bizarrely enjoy it.
(Also, Happy Birthday to the little angel below, my darling Joshi, have the best day honey, 18 FINALLY! Love u x)
Thank you for reading,
J. I. Smith x
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